7 thoughts on “profile of an abusive family: a re-blog

  1. “They were such a nice couple.” That’s the response I received from my father when I told him, as an adult, about the sexual abuse I experienced at the hands of my grandparents. My father met the description given of the “Denier” in so many ways. Thank you Morven for sharing this blog and thank you Don for supporting your wife through her healing by confronting her “Denier”.

  2. On the Subject of Incest

    Things my mother taught me:
    always wear a shirt when I went out into public view
    flour raisins and nuts before they were put into a cake for baking
    hit the bottom of the cake pan to eliminate air bubbles
    hang wet laundry on the backyard line for the sun to dry
    read at the library where we walked to every week
    love books and never bend their ears or write on their pages
    always wash your hands after the bathroom
    sing in bed with my sister and her was a joyful thing
    learn how to drive (she never could)
    never talk to strangers
    never let a boy touch you in your privates
    always keep your legs together or crossed when sitting
    keep very quiet when my father was sleeping off a drunk
    hold her hand when we went into the dark night looking for him

    Things my mother never taught me:
    stay away from my father
    stay away from my brother

  3. I decided to put the search of ‘sexual abuse from a parent’ in the search engine and this is what came up. Though quite nervous while reading, it was such a relief.
    As a victim of sexual abuse from my father, the accounts of the actions of people in the household as well as the ‘upstanding’ in the community is dead-on.
    My father first molested me about age 4/5 continuing sporadically on until I left for college. There were 6 deniers in my household, particularly my mother who took great lengths to discredit my character. I could only trust talking to the dogs. I’ve been in therapy for over 16 years. 10 years ago, I told my son what happened. 6 months ago I divulged my experience with 1 of my sisters. All my household authority figures (grandmother, mother and father) are deceased. I am 53 years old and have refused to enter into anymore serious relationship with anyone until I can understand how this tragedy has contaminated all my relationships. Everyday it gets easier to talk to people in this city about my experience and have gotten to the point of not being so scared that my other siblings will find out.
    Thank God for this blog. I feel so encouraged and empowered.

    • I am so very thankful it was a help to you. I think, if you look through past months of blogs, you will find others that will be an encouragement to you. You are not crazy; the world you grew up in was crazy. You will never make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. Blessings to you! Stay in touch.

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